i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Randomize
