She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize