Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
