I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
