i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
