Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
