Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Randomize
