Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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