we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
there was a trapeze. enough said
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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