Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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