Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
