wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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