not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
