My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
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