so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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