She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Randomize
