I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
