sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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