doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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