how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Randomize
