I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
