the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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