Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
he had hair everywhere except his balls
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
