How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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