porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
