So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
