Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
