Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
