I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize