This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
