I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
