talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Randomize
