Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
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