Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
