her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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