Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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