Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
