finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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