I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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