This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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