That's intense
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
