I'm going to jail i love you
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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