Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
