Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
