and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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