This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Randomize
