I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
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