U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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