Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
