maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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