Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Randomize
