Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
