Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
