Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
