Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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