i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
