I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
