she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Randomize