I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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