there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
These tits shall not be calmed
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
