What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
