I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
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