Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
