my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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