if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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