I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I just want nice things and good sex
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
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