we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
