i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
try to milk me bitch
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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