I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
where are you?
Hypothermia
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
